Inspiration is a funny thing.

Inspiration is something I struggle with a lot. Trying to find something or someone to inspire you is difficult but also holding onto that inspiration is fucking hard.

The reason I’m making this post is because I’ve tried probably 5-6 times to record a YouTube video and just ended up turning the camera off and feeling defeated. I’ve also tried multiple times to write anything on this blog and it’s not really working out well for me. Which is super weird and annoying because I was so excited to make content.

I aspire to be creative. I want to be able to create something because I want to create it, not because someone is telling me to. I want to be able to not have restrictions on what I create and be able to say what I want to say when I want to say it. The only way I can ever see that happening is if I work fucking hard at this blog and my YouTube channel and I promote the hell out of both of them and upload consistently, but not being inspired is something that is holding me back, it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back but it’s definitely something that isn’t helping.

The other that’s holding me back is probably myself. I say that I want to do all this stuff and I want to turn something that I enjoy doing into a job. What I mean by I’m holding myself back is that instead of working hard at creating stuff, I tell myself that it’s never going to happen, that I’m never going to achieve everything that I want to achieve and that is so scary to me. it’s also something that is stopping me from going after my goals, which is dumb.

I don’t really have an ending to this post, it was kind of all over the place, but I guess I just wanted to post something on my blog no matter what it was as a way of fighting the weird mood I’m in right now.

Hope you all have a great day ❤